It’s really simple: you just have to trust and obey.
I find myself saying this to the kids all the time: trust me and obey.
After the gazillionth time saying this to them, it struck me how often I fail to trust and obey God, thinking my way is better. It hit even harder when I had a standoff over breakfast with the 3 year old this morning. She could have easily gotten to the things she wanted quicker had she just just obeyed the first time. It’s now been close to 30 minutes of fighting. And as frustrated as I am with her, I find myself struck by the fact that I am the same way when it comes to trust and obedience. God has asked things of me, very simple things really, and instead of trust His plan and obeying, I put up a fight, because I think my way is better. Oftentimes, I even find myself trying to bribe: “I’ll do this because you asked, but what’s in it for me?”
How selfish and sinful am I to ask that of Him?! He’s already given me Himself, forever with Him, a debt I can never repay, and yet instead of joyful obedience, I ask for more? As if He isn’t reward enough? Shame on me.
As I grapple with trust, with obedience, with the weight of the reward Himself, I wonder if I’m alone in this. There’s so much I want, so much I work for and towards, but at the end of the day, none of it matters if I don’t have Him. Do you feel the weight of that too?
We should feel it. It should stop us in our tracks, drop us to our knees in repentance, and have us crying out to Him in ways we never had before. It should break our hearts and make us strive to give up more of ourselves for the sake of His name and His kingdom and for others to know Him too.
If we had everything we ever wanted and didn’t have Him, we would have nothing and be nothing.
But having Jesus? The One who was fully God and fully man, who gave up His life on a cross for a very undeserving sinner like me? Who did the impossible and rose from the dead 3 days later so that I can live forever with Him? Having Him tell me He loves me and my sins are forgiven?
To have Jesus and nothing else?
Well, that is everything.
I was struck by my sin today. It’s always there, knowing my sin, but I felt the weight of it today. And while that doesn’t mean it’s all fixed, it just means I have to fight harder. My flesh fights against Him, but He’s given what I need to fight back, in trust and obedience to Him.
Are you trusting and obeying? You should. And I should too.
Because Jesus is better.
*** I haven’t written in the longest time. Every time I do it feels wrong and if I’m honest, everyone has seems to have something to say but no one really listens so I figured, what’s the point? But if there’s one thing I know, it’s that Jesus is better and to speak of Him is a joy. I’ve struggled a lot with my sin in the past couple of years. I’m deeply selfish, mean, and think too highly of myself. I found myself wanting to write for praise when I should have been writing to point others to Jesus. I am not wise or kind or good and I don’t need or want to be told that I am. I am a great sinner in need of a great Savior and I hope you see Jesus and nothing else in these words. I am nothing and He is everything and I hope you believe that with every fiber of your being.***
“The Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. The Lord is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made.”Psalm 145:8-9
Beauty in the Ashes 